Emotional Intelligence Is Key

Thatafricangold
4 min readJan 22, 2021

Emotional Intelligence is one of the key roles to success. As humans we are highly emotional beings. It is said women are more emotional than men but i think men just hide their emotions and women are unapologetic when it comes to expressing how they feel. Have you ever been in a situation where you react then later realize, “i shouldn’t have done that”? I know about such situations. So many times I have overreacted and ended up regretting. In fact most of my whole life, I have let my emotions lead the way more than they should.

Its only after some therapy and reading books were I had to learn that you can control how you feel. Emotions should not always be the deciding factor. Look at it this way, if you allowed anything and everything to control you based on emotions, you will experience a seriously unstable life. Emotions are unstable no cap.

Our feelings are a special part of us. Do not get me wrong. The way life is, we have to experience… and feelings allow us to do that. Now how do you know when and where to react is the subject. Emotional intelligence come in play when you take charge of your life and how you feel. Your emotions are a currency. Believe it or not, when you are happy, you are filled with so much energy, you can literally conquer the world. When you are sad, you feel really low. I can not begin to talk about being angry or jealous or any of the negative feelings. They are pretty awful but it is what it is. Now how do you become smart about the way you feel?

Stay aware, Observe your reaction towards people

One thing I always say is, you have no control over what happens outside of you but you have control over what happens inside of you. Sometimes we have people saying all sorts of things to us or about us. Some of the things are shocking, devastating, painful and heartbreaking. You do not have to crumble sweetheart. Top successful people will tell you, pay no mind to what people say. They will always talk anyway. Whether you are rich or poor, someone will always have something to say to you that you may not like. Keep your composure as you know whats inside of you. Do not overreact. Ignore or walk away.

Practice self evaluation

You know you are the shit, you are the real deal! There is on one line you. You are blessed and highly favored. Wonderfully and fearfully made! Why would you allow someone else make you feel any less. Just as the point above, staying aware of yourself will help you filter all of that out. The key to success is staying in control of how you react to the outside world. We are constantly challenged by alot of things. Our emotions are always under attack. Be it at home or social media. See how you respond to situations and try to do something different each time. For example, my friend said something hurtful, instead of arguing or confronting, i simply brushed it off and completely ignored it. That statement literally dissolved and didn’t mean anything to me. You have to know yourself so much that what anyone can say to you doesn’t matter even if its family or friends. (those close to us are the major contributors to our emotional well-being by the way) Evaluate your environment and know what you are dealing with.

Forgive and forget

We all have that one person who was verbally abusive to us at one point in our lives. I can not begin to talk about African parents. You know what I mean if you are African. The pain and hurt is usually passed down from generation to generation. I really dont blame them after what their parents might have done to them. (i blame slavery). Then there is ordinary people like friends, bosses, colleagues or random strangers. Sometimes all those people who are rude, do not love themselves. They are angry at everything and everyone. Its not your fault. Forgive and forget anyone who might have said or done anything to hurt your feelings. As you finish reading this line, please forgive them from the bottom of your heart. You will find peace.

In conclusion, always remember you are in charge of your life. No matter how it may seem, you have the power to control how you feel. Your feelings are gold. Do not just let anyone have access to them. You are the gatekeeper of your emotions.

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